Dating Diaries: The date was perfect until he killed the mood
Leigh is 32, lives in the east end, and works in fitness. She says “My look is mostly ‘athleisure.’ I love getting away with wearing a sports bra as a shirt.” Leigh describes herself as “Zen and spiritual.” She says “I’m always bringing ‘camp counsellor’ energy to a situation. I’m everyone’s therapist.” Leigh says “I’m moving all day, and I’m always with other people,” but adds “I make it a priority to meditate and pray so I have energy to give back.” Leigh wants to date someone who is “into fitness, contributing to the world, having a good time and enjoying life.”
I never do set-ups, but a girlfriend from work suggested that I meet up with her friend, who I didn’t know. Kirk texted me a few days later, and we texted each other stupid memes and the usual get-to-know-you questions. It was like a Tinder match without Tinder. I looked through his social media and everything checked out. We decided to meet at this new, gorgeous, romantic spot that I knew about from Instagram but hadn’t been to yet. I thought, even if the date sucks, I’d get to eat there.
I’d gotten my hair cut that day, I felt sexy, and the vibe was chill. I was feeling good. I wasn’t sure about going to such a romantic spot right out of the gate, but it was perfect.
Kirk was waiting for me at the bar, drinking wine. He was a few years younger than me — which I knew from our friend — good-looking, well-dressed, built and had great hair. He wrapped me in a hug when we met and we stood there laughing before going to our table. Set-ups can be so awkward and I liked that he was able to acknowledge that. He was so polite and sweet. So many guys, especially younger guys, don’t have good manners. They think the world is just there for them.
We ordered drinks, and Kirk asked the server about the different dishes, what was in them, and what were popular choices. He was so natural and mature even though he was young. I liked everything about him so far. I could see us being a good fit, even just from the first few minutes. Our chemistry was definitely there. I was really attracted to him.
We talked about our lives and friends. I loved his laugh, which was kind of dorky but sweet. He was chill but also seemed really into the conversation we were having, and didn’t reach for his phone. It usually seems like guys are trying to act cool by being detached and overly casual, but he was totally open and into it. I was really feeling him. It was one of the best times I’d ever had on a first date.
The next part changed everything. Kirk started asking me questions about his workout routine, like advice on what he’s been doing. I’m a part-time trainer, and am really passionate about it, so I love to talk about exercise goals and how to get there. But, this was completely random. It was like he had been planning to ask me about it and now that dinner was wrapping up he was getting all his questions in. He was really detailed about his progress and what he wanted to achieve, and was asking me about specific changes he could make to his workout. The mood had totally changed. He suddenly felt like a client, not a guy I was on an amazing date with.
I said something almost sarcastic about how he could book a session with me at my gym if he really wanted some advice on his workout. I was hoping he’d realize what he was doing, but he didn’t apologize or say anything about it. He just looked confused. He tried to get the conversation back to where it was, but I felt used and thrown off. The vibe was different. I decided, that’s a wrap.
The bill came and he went to pay, but I insisted on splitting it. He seemed surprised that I was clearly rushing out of the date, even though we had been lingering over our drinks a few minutes before. I ended the date with a quick hug and that was it.
Leigh rates her date (out of 10): 5
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