Hey, where'd Mickey Rourke go? Stargazing
War Pigs. Black November. Blunt Force Trauma. The Courier. Java Heat. Dead in Tombstone. Which of these generic action titles — seemingly generated by a rather lazy AI — is not a real, recent Mickey Rourke movie?
You guessed right, it is a trick question. They’re all real. The Wrestler was really gonna turn Mickey Rourke around, I was pretty sure, when it came out a decade ago. Anybody got a third Sin City script lying around?
Celine Dion and Katy Perry figure you’ll treasure their music all the more now that you’ve been permanently blinded. (Instagram @katyperry)
Catherine Zeta Jones relaxes on the set of Queen America, her new series for Facebook Watch, and we hear it might feature copious bloodshed, constant and explicit sex scenes and stars snorting real drugs. But no one will ever know, because we’re not gonna watch Facebook Watch. (Backgrid)
Queen Latifah is a hero for giving cash to someone with a hard-luck story. But she’s not a saint, so she’s not gonna risk hearing it. (Backgrid)
Jim Carrey smugly explains that no one bothers him for autographs now that he looks like Dee Dee Ramone, who died in 2002. (Getty Images)
Keep looking, Ben Schwartz, Sam Rockwell’s gotta have a comb in there somewhere. (Getty)
Lindsay Price knows: if you want people to think you’re beautiful, your most indispensable accessory is Bobby Lee, standing right next to you. (Getty)
Jaden Smith and, below, Nathan Fillion both thank the man upstairs, with age-appropriate levels of exertion. (Invision/AP)
Tabloids: Feuds! Betrayals! And no one is marrying Jennifer Aniston!